Dear Friends, Sorry for bothering you again, but I must report that the person who delivers my newspaper is playing tricks on me. This time she inserted another story into the newspaper, and so, when I opened the pages, there was another crazy story that I shall share with you. These stories keep me sane in an insane world .The President’s Racing Cars When he was younger, the President built a racing car out of wooden boxes and used to race up and down sidewalks scaring the hell out anyone who did not jump at his commands. It was exciting for the boy. He mowed down at least forty people in one year until the police put a stop to his dare-devil races. However, this was just the beginning of his love for cars and racing. On his sixteenth birthday, the President’s father blessed him with a Porsche and bribed a city official who gave the boy a driver’s license before he was legally allowed to drive. Now the President could race up and down the neighborhood streets, and he topped his record of forty mowed people by the time he was seventeen. From that point onward, the President began acquiring all the best and fastest cars and trucks in the world. Then he built a garage behind his home and hired some of the best racers in the world to tend the cars, taking them out for morning runs, fetching special gasoline to speed up the machines, decorating the walls of the vans and trucks, holding races on the track he built behind the garage, and targeting artificial people. The races on his special tracks drew millions of people, according to his reports, and sometimes, even he participated in the races before he was elected president. Nobody could beat him in his specialty – knocking down real live people who wore special padded suits and helmets. They were let loose in a Roman coliseum where lions used to attack and eat Christians, except here, of course, the racing stars would try to knock down human beings. The President starred in this game, but he had to stop participating in them when he was older and became president because he had become somewhat fat and flabby and couldn’t fit into the driver’s seat. This is when the President became fonder of trucks and vans and changed the rules of the game. Though he looked like Porky Pig, the President could now sit comfortably in the huge cabins of the trucks and mow down people to his heart’s content. After God had wiped his hands of the President, there was nothing that stopped him from building a gigantic stadium with gigantic trucks and tiny targets. Since the trucks needed tons of unadulterated gas, the President changed all the laws protecting the environment so he could obtain all the oil and gasoline he desired. He even bought a few countries that produced gas just for his trucks. Nobody cared about the President’s whims except those who were afraid of pollution. Some even laughed at him. If they did, they somehow disappeared from the face of the earth.

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